Tech Support drones.

Now, I work in Technical Support, so don’t take this as a lament against all technical support people – just those who can’t see past the script in front of them.

Yesterday, I had the following conversation with a McAfee TS representative.

The issue wasn’t that difficult, I would have thought, for someone familiar with McAfee’s product line, and it might be reasonable to assume that Technical Support would be familiar… Oh how wrong I was.

The issue at hand was that I wanted to buy VirusScan Command Line Scanners for FreeBSD (just google for it and your find numerous references including McAfees trial download) – the fun comes when you want to buy it.  Nothing anywhere tells you what product actually contains the Command Line Scanners.

Anyway, read and weep.

Establishing Connection

Please wait while we find a technician to assist you…

You have been connected to Andrew Jennings

Andrew Jennings: Paul, thank you for contacting McAfee Online Support Center. How can I assist you with your McAfee software today?

Paul Gregg: Hi Andrew, I’m at a loss in finding out what product I need to buy… I want to get the VirusScan Command Line Scanner for FreeBSD

Andrew Jennings: Could you please tell me in which country you are in?

Paul Gregg: UK

Andrew Jennings: Paul, I would be happy to help you guide you through

Paul Gregg: Thanks

Paul Gregg: I can find the eval download ok – but nothing appears to say how you go about buying it

Andrew Jennings: What are the McAfee products that you already own?

Paul Gregg: none

Paul Gregg: I think I need the TVD or the virusScan Suite, but neither of those itemises the Command Line Scanners for unix based systems

Andrew Jennings: Please tell me the full form of TVD

Paul Gregg: total Virus Defense?

Paul Gregg: McAfee got it when they bought Dr. Solomon

Andrew Jennings: Do you own a Home PC?

Paul Gregg: yes

Paul Gregg: I run FreeBSD, *not* Windows

Andrew Jennings: Thankyou for the information

Andrew Jennings: This issue or concern is best supported by our Customer Service group. Please call 020-794-901-07, and select the option that best meets your needs. You may also visit for more information.

Andrew Jennings: Is there anything else that I can assist you with today?

Paul Gregg: You don’t know what VirusScan product contains the Command Line scanners?

Andrew Jennings: We do not support the Operating System that you are using

Paul Gregg: yes you do

Paul Gregg: … ine/bsd/v4.32/

Andrew Jennings: What version of Windows are you using? (95, 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP)

Paul Gregg: I’m sorry Andrew – perhaps you could transfer me to someone else… I already told you I don’t use Windows. I’m using FreeBSD. McAfee *does* sell Virusscan for FreeBSd.

Paul Gregg: I just can’t find out which product contains it

Andrew Jennings: We do not support any other Operating System other than Windows. We cannot continue this chat session any further. Please contact customer service for getting to the right place

Andrew Jennings: Your reference number for this chat sessions is 5159845.

Andrew Jennings: Thank you for visiting McAfee Online Support Center. Please feel free to contact us again if you face any problem.

4 Replies to “Tech Support drones.”

  1. I guess you could flip a coin: Heads, human – Tails, robot.

    Though I guess some of the typos and that he figured out I wasn’t using Windows suggests human.

    "tell me the full form of TVD", however, suggests ‘wtf?’  ;)

  2. Geez,

    Sounds like he was feeding you a whole lot of "standard" lines – maybe he was just copying and pasting… :)


  3. Unable to registar my Mcafee virsu/firewall as the mcafee security centre does not recognise me e mailaddres.  canyou help

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